Monday, October 17, 2016

8 Things I've Learned During My One-Year Relationship

Holy cow, it's been about a month and a half since I've posted a blog... I've really missed it. My life has been very hectic, but I plan on posting soon to tell you all what I've been up to. 

But today, October 17th, is one of my favorite days. Today, exactly one year ago, my boyfriend and I had our first date. I don't plan on boring you by talking about our relationship in great detail, but I did want to share with you what makes our relationship unique and how we handle each other's quirks.

Let it be known that I have had my fair share of crazy relationships: the cop that went to jail, the wanna be cop (I might have had a thing for law enforcement)... After a while, I thought there was a problem with me. I can be pretty high maintenance and require a lot of attention, but honestly, if a guy can't handle that, then they aren't the one for me.

If you are looking for a few encouraging words about love and relationships, I can't promise to ease all of your uncertainty, but I can tell you that I've been successful at it for 365 days.

     It's ok to meet people online.
I'm going to be completely transparent here: Taylor and I met on Tinder. If you don't know what that is, I'll be blunt by saying that it's an app for hooking up. I didn't plan on using it for that purpose though, I just simply liked the attention from random strangers. When I came across his profile, it caught my eye that he went to an engineering school that wasn't where I went. I later found out that he isn't an engineer (but he is very smart.)
Meeting him in person was nerve-wracking. If you've ever gone on a Tinder date, you'd understand my hesitation. Looking back on it a year later, I'm so glad I did. If you are ever unsure about taking that step to put yourself out there online, my vote is to go for it.

     It's ok to be forward with what you want.
When I started dating Taylor, I told him that all I need out of a relationship is someone to rub my shoulders and tell me "good morning" and "good night" every day. I was mostly joking, but for the past 365 days, he has always done those three things.

If I want something, I’m always the one to directly ask for it, rather than assuming he knows what I want or that he can read between the lines (most of the time, he can’t.) If you aren’t forward with what you want, you will be disappointed when your partner doesn’t perform, even though you never really asked for anything.

     It's ok to compromise.
When I come to his house, I know I can usually find him playing video games. (I should state that I’m not the biggest fan of video games.) I’m not the kind of girlfriend that will force him to drop what he’s doing just because I’m present, only because I know sometimes I get carried away on social media when he’s around. That’s what I consider to be a compromise. Letting him do something that he likes will only put me in his good grace and he will be more willing to do what I want later.

One thing I do not recommend is reminding your partner that they “owe you”. Just because he picked the place you hate for dinner does not mean that you can complain all night.

     It's ok if you don't live together.
I don’t quite understand why people assume that because we have been dating for a year that we need to live together. For the past year, he has been living with his parents, saving to buy a house. I like having my one-bedroom apartment to myself (I don’t share well). In more recent news, I moved to a completely different city, and I didn’t expect him to endure unemployment just to live with me. The distance won’t put a strain on our relationship either, because we are so busy with our adult lives.

We may be one in a million couples that don’t want to cohabitate before being married, but we are just fine with it. Not living together does not mean we are not as close as couples that cohabitate.

     It's ok to talk every day, multiple times a day.
Since we officially became a couple last year, Taylor has lived up to the expectation I had that he would say “good morning” every day, usually by text message. We both work full-time jobs and don’t really have time to text during the day, but I can usually expect a phone call on our drives home from work. I also try to make an effort to call before I go to sleep, just because hearing him say that he loves me is very relaxing.

Some people think that talking to your significant other every day means that you are clingy. I would call our relationship anything except clingy. We like to be involved in each other’s lives. I like knowing how his day went, and him with me.

     It's ok to be friends with each other's friends.
I met Taylor roughly six months after he moved to “my” city. If I said he had no friends, I would be lying. Shortly after our first date, he wanted me to meet Alexis and her boyfriend Colton, friend from his college that just happens to live local. I enjoy their company because it allows us to talk about couple-y things. I also have a few guy friends who I’ve introduced to Taylor and helped nurture bro-lationships with. Now that I’m not in the same city, it’s great hearing that Taylor is hanging out with my friends that I had to leave behind.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your guy have his girlfriends, or you having guy friends. Yes, boundaries may need to be set, but your real friends shouldn’t try to sabotage your happiness.

     It's ok to have alone time.
I’m not saying that I get tired of Taylor by any means. Sometimes I just like to be alone. Whether that is in separate rooms or separate apartments, having “me time” is nice. Usually, if I’m visiting his parents’ house during the weekend, I’ll let him have some time to play video games or read without being the nagging girlfriend. Having our own alone time allows us to focus more on each other, our conversation and interaction when we are together.

     It's ok to plan for a future together.
I never thought I would be one of those girls that have a wedding Pinterest board, and I still don’t. But I do think about getting married to Taylor, and we have openly talked about it. Being young adults, we are not in any rush to get married and start having children, as work and saving for a future is very important right now.

It’s definitely in the five-year plan though.

So yeah, I’m definitely so thankful to have someone like Taylor in my life, through the good times and the bad. As cliché as it sounds, he has become my best friend and I wouldn’t want anyone else.

My question for you, the reader: are there any questions weighing on your mind about love and relationships? I’m no expert, but I’d love to give you my insight. Just let me know in the comments!


  1. Loved this! It reminded me a lot of me and my fella! I always get a good morning text from him too! And neither of us feel the need to live together before we get married. And I too need my alone time! Congratulations on your anniversary!

  2. Yes! It is a very great story ! Thank you so much for sharing! Man, you are really lucky person! I couldn't make a decision to began a new serious relationship too, but I accidentally found this website and I fell in love in a Russian girl like a crazy. I hope that she will be my wife in future.